Thursday, August 27, 2009

I need a revelation

I need something to perk me up. I need something to put that fire back into my life. I just feel beat down, and I don't know how to change a thing.

This has been a crummy week, and I just cannot seem to get out of my funk. Bills, work, house duties, they all creep up and then explode all over me. Marco has been so understanding and concerned at the same time, and all I can tell him is "I'm ok." That is all that I am, just ok. I don't want to be ok, I want to live life, I want to be happy, I want to be satisfied. But I am not sure how to get there.

I have no idea what I want to do in life. I am 27, and I have no clear direction. I am not on any path that will get me any closer to where ever it is that I want to go. Why can I not be one of those people that have their path completely figured out? The artists, writers, actors, teachers, pilots, etc. that have known for a very long time what their gift is. I have no clue what my gift is, I am not even sure how to find out. I am stuck in a ditch, and instead of heading up the side to easily find my way, I seem to be digging my self even deeper.

I need a revelation, a spark, a fire for something. I need something to jump out at me and say this is what you were ment to do! This is it for you! I want to be more than "just ok."


Larry and Krista said...

I am 37 and have the same feeling!! I think life gets so busy that we get bogged down! Find out what makes you beam with joy and do a job in that field.

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