Typical Texas Bluebonnet Pictures

Wordless Wednesday

Here are a few of my favorite pictures of the kids together:

 



Baby Blues

Sorry I have been MIA from the blog the past few weeks, I haven't been in much of a writing mood.  I have been dealing with some personal things. 

I have been very down, blah, and just not feeling like myself since Paisley was born.  I have been constantly overwhelmed with all the kids by myself.  I yell way to much at the big girls and strain our relationship greatly most days, and I let Brayden wither away in front of the tv for hours a day, all while feeling stuck on the couch with no energy or enthusiasm to get up and live life.  A lot of days I feel lonely, I overeat, and I sleep horrible, I am just not myself.  I feel trapped in some one else's body.  My mood swings are out of control.  I can go from happy and content to crazy angry and yelling to feeling like crying my eyes out all within a matter of minutes.

I know "baby blues" are always possible after you give birth, but I never thought I would have it.  I am not sure if what I am experiencing is "baby blues" or just really bad hormonal changes due to getting my tubes tied.  I did not feel like this with my other babies, at least not to the extent that I do now.  Doctors are quick to tell you that there is no relation with getting your tubes tied and hormonal changes, but based on my mood, I feel otherwise.  This past week, I finally talked to my doctor about how I have been feeling, and hopefully will be feeling better in a few weeks (praying for sooner).  We agreed the best course of action, in my case, was to go on Lexapro.  I hope it starts to kick in over the next few weeks.  I never thought I would need to be put on something, however, if the medication helps me turn this all around, then so be it.
It has been very hard with 4, much harder than I ever thought it would be.  I never wanted to have 4 kids and I stressed and worried my entire pregnancy, but it was obviously in God's plan for our family and he is never wrong.  I love Paisley and wouldn't change having her for anything in the world.  She makes me smile and I know she will bring so much love and joy to our world that we would be greatly lacking with out her here. 

I was worried about how Brayden would be with her, but he has been amazing with her.  He always wants to hold her and give her kisses; I think he is very proud to be her big brother.  However, he has become increasingly insistent on getting my attention any way necessary, whether that is being overly sweet or throwing mega fits.  Maddi and Ella also love and adore her and constantly want to hold her, and they also try to keep her from crying as much as they can, they are awesome big sisters.

I hope that the medicine kicks in soon so I can get back to feeling like myself with my amazing family.  They deserve so much more than I give to them.

I am sure postpartum isn't overly talked about or that if what I am feeling could be from my tubal, but I wanted to put it out there.  If you are down, I don't think medication should be your first choice, but sometimes it may end up being the best choice.  The main thing is that you keep yourself healthy for your family and talk to your doctor about your feelings sooner rather than later.

Halloween PJ Link Up

 

 

Maddison

 

Gabriella

 

My big girls!

Not sure what is going on with Ella's smile.

 

 Paisley is so not happy with out her paci.

 



Brayden being silly with his overly forced smile.

 

Brayden wanted a picture with his big sisters.

Seriously, what is going on with Ella's smile???

How did I get so lucky?

I am linking up with Darci from The Good Life and Meredith from The Tichenor Family!  Please join us in sharing your kiddos in their Halloween PJ's!  

Paisley's Birthday 9-12-13

With Paisley being 4 weeks old yesterday, and turning 1 month officially tomorrow, I thought I would finally upload photos from her birthday!

 

Paisley's due date wasn't till the 24th, but a sonogram on Sept 3rd showed that I had double the amniotic fluid that I was supposed to have.  Normal levels are up to 12 and I was at 24.5!  She was also measuring close to 9 pounds, so my dr. wanted to get her out as soon as we could.  We had the induction scheduled for Sept 12th.

 

My very last pregnant photo!!  I was huge since I had so much extra fluid.

I went in at 7 am to get my induction started.  We got back to my room around 8, and I had my water broken around 9:30. 

  

Waiting to get things going.

Paisley was so ready to meet us, because she was born 4 hours later at 1:36 pm.

 



8 lbs 14 oz and 22 in long



 

 

Chubby Cheeks

 

Proud Papa!

 



Big Bro!

 

 

Grani with the big sisters and brother!

*I will add photos of the girls holding Paisley, but first I need to get them from my hubby!

 

Paisley's Newborn Photos

 

This month has flown by and brought on lots of changes, but they have been worth it!

Happy 1 month sweet girl!

 

To My 8 Year Old

My sweet Maddison, who turned 8 years old yesterday, I just want to let you know how much I truly love you.

You mean more to me than you could ever imagine, and more than I can put into words!

I love you with every ounce of my being and I am so glad that you are you!

I love that you are a sweet, sensitive, silly, sassy, frilly, wear your emotions on your sleeve, high heel wearing kind of girl.

You make me laugh with your silliness, you make me smile with your kindness, and you can warm my heart with a hug.

I love that you love stuffed animals and cuddly blankets and that you don't want to grow up too fast.  I love that you love to sing, even though you may not know all the words.  I love that you love to dance to music turned up loud.  I love that you make your own fashion designs and proudly display them on your wall.  I love that you love to help cook, even though I don't always like the messes that comes with the help.

I love the moments when you are an amazing big sister!  When you play with Ella with no judgement or harsh words, or when you love on Brayden when he is having some not so lovable moments.  I love how much you help with Brayden, and I really appreciate every bit of it you give.

I love how smart you are, and I never want you to pretend not to be!  Be proud of your gift of knowledge!

I love everything about you, please don't forget that ever! 

You are the perfect you and the best first born I could ask for!

Love,

Mommy