I'm BACK!!

Holy cow!  How has it been almost 2 years since I posted on my blog?  I think about it often, but I just haven't gotten around to doing it.  I have really missed sitting down and writing out my thoughts and feelings.

Here is what has been happening lately:

• We celebrated our third New Years Eve in Lubbock.  This is HUGE!  We have never stayed in one city this long, and we still love it!  Lubbock has been so good to our family, that we are not sure when (if ever) we will leave.
• Maddison is now 11, Gabriella 9, Brayden 5, and Paisley 2!
• Marco is about a week away from opening his new restaurant, Aspen Creek!  It is crunch time and he's feeling the pressure, but I am so incredibly proud of him!
• I love my job as a Parent's Day Out teacher, and couldn't be more blessed by the church I work for and the friendships I have made!
• We found a church home, for all of us!  Gabriella gave her life to Christ and was baptized last year, and Maddison gave her life to Christ this year and will be baptized soon!

Lubbock has really blessed us in many ways, a few we weren't ever expecting, and some are far better than we could have ever imagined!

So what have you been up to?

Typical Texas Bluebonnet Pictures

Wordless Wednesday

Here are a few of my favorite pictures of the kids together:

 



Being sick + a water overflow + a broken oven

Last week was a crazy week in our house!  If it wasn't one thing, it was another.  Let me quickly (hopefully) recap for you.

Valentine's Night, I had 2 of my girl friends and their kids over since all of our hubby's had to work.  Crappy right?  Well being a restaurant wife, I am very used to it.  This year, I decided to do something fun for me and the kids.  It was perfect.  We had wine, chocolate covered strawberries, the kids made a HUGE poster board card for the daddies, and they played.  Two of the big girls decided to spend the night with my big girls.  Saturday we went to make cookies, and our first batch burned and our second batch never really finished cooking.  Crazy right?  I wished I would have thought about that then.

Sunday I woke up with a major headache.  I toughed it out as long as I could before I decided to take a nap before the hubby went to work.  I slept close to 3 hours before I had to finally get up, and by then not only was my head still pounding, my throat was starting to hurt.  I made it through the night as best I could with all the kids, and I crawled in bed early.

Monday I got up to take the girls to school and I could hardly swallow.  My hubby sent me to the doctor before he had to go back to work for the day.  I ended up having strep.  BOO!!  The doctor gave me a shot and a prescription and sent me on my way.

I made it through the day with my two little ones, and went to pick up my meds and dinner before getting the older girls from school.  I figured pizza would be easy for me to make for the kids, and I got myself some tomato soup.  The big girls and Brayden hung out watching tv most of the afternoon, while Paisley and I napped.

I got up to "fix" dinner by throwing the pizza in the oven, and Maddi helped me by starting some laundry.  This is where things go majorly downhill for me.  The oven was not working (wished I would have thought about the cookies) and in return, not cooking the pizza.  I sent my hubby and text, and he offered to feed the kids BJ's pizza when he got off.  Life saver!!  I left the pizza in the oven to see how long it would take with the temperature reaching a staggering "warm" and it took well over 2 hrs!  Ugh!

In the mean time, Maddi went to go to my room, which is close to the laundry room and noticed water all over the floor.  I squished my way to the laundry room, and was greeted by a waterfall of water coming out of the washer.  The carpet was soaked and the laundry room was flooded with ice cold water.  I told the big girls to get towels to soak up the water on the carpet while I scooped water in the laundry room.  The girls took turns dumping out the water for me.  The towels didn't really help since there was so much water.

Luckily my hubby felt sorry for me being sick and all, and brought home the pizza for the kids, and went and picked up a shop vac from work and a carpet shampooer to help suck up the water.

The next day, I started feeling better, and we had a guy here to fix the washer (a tube came loose), a guy here to put out fans to dry out the carpet, and a guy here to fix the oven (a wire burned).  Our house was a mad house for a few days walking over fans, catching up on laundry, and having lots of workers come and go, but it all worked out, ya know $200 later.  But that's life I guess.

Naptime=Playtime 4 Cloud Dough

Brayden and I are having so much fun with our naptime=playtime activities. 

As I was searching pinterest for new ideas for my Indoor Fun and Games board, I came across one of my new favorite blogs for fun ideas, Kara's Classroom.  I first found her post on cloud dough and then searched through her blog and I cannot wait to try more of her ideas.

Cloud dough was easy to make, and Brayden had lots of fun playing with it. 

To make cloud dough all you need is 7 cups of flour, 1 cup of vegetable oil and a big container to put it in.  *I wish we would have had a bigger container, but our little one worked just fine.

To start, we gathered our flour, oil, container, and a towel to sit on.  Brayden helped me count and measure out the cups of flour and then mix in the oil. 

He played for awhile with just the dough till we were interrupted by Paisley who wanted to join in the fun.  She started off in her bouncer, but she did not want to stay there.  I put her in the bumbo and gave her a cookie cutter to play with.  Brayden loved trying to make the cookie cutter shapes in the dough.  Next time, I want to come up with more things for him to play with in the dough, even though his hands and the cookie cutters worked just fine. 

After the big girls got home from school, Brayden told them what he had played with and they wanted to play too.  Even my girls liked it, and this is why I want a bigger container.

Overall, the cloud dough was a HUGE success and I cannot wait to get it out again!

Any suggestions on what else to play with in the cloud dough?

Our Christmas 2013 Part 3

Catch up on Part 1 HERE

Part 2 HERE

Christmas morning was great!  I love seeing the kids dig into their stockings.  I had some bigger plans for the kids' stockings, but those were ruined by two girls peeking in my closet.  Oh well, they loved everything in their stockings and it all worked out.  Ella's big Santa present was a bow and arrow, Maddi's was a scooter for her American Girl, Brayden's was a Superman and football, and Paisley's was a giggly pig.

My dad and step mom headed for Christmas with her family, and we headed to my mom's house for Christmas with the McGregor side of the family.  It was small, but very nice to catch up with my uncles, an Aunt, and a cousin and her little girl.  We opened presents and had dinner there.  My mom made all the kids pjs and Brayden put his on immediately.  She also got each of them a game and we had fun trying them out.  The night went too fast, and of course there wasn't enough time spent over there.

Thursday morning was spent watching the kids play football in dad's backyard.  Paisley napped in my arms, as Brayden, Ella, and Maddi tried to figure out how to catch, throw, kick, and tackle.  Then came the task of packing up everything, getting some snacks together, and figuring out how to fit everything in the car.

It took forever to pack up and make sure we had everything we needed to bring home.  Marco packed up the car (then I repacked it so everything would fit better).  The car was packed full, and I don't think we could have fit anything else. 

We headed to get the dogs and start our long drive home.  Paisley did good on the first leg of the drive home, but not so much after we stopped for dinner.  She threw a huge fit, so we ended up pulling over so I could feed her again in the car.  It worked out though, because Brayden needed to go potty while we were stopped.  Once I thought I had her calmed down, we started back on the road and she started throwing a mega fit.  So much so, that I had to switch spots with Ella while we were driving.  There was no where to pull over, and I wasn't about to have Marco pull off to the side to possibly be hit by a semi.  So Ella and I switched spots.  She loved sitting in the front for the few minutes it took me to get Paisley calmed down and asleep.  Then, we switched back.  It was an exciting drive home, needless to say.

Unpacking the car when we got home was no fun, but we managed to get everything in the house.  Then we opened up our gifts to each other.  The kids did an amazing job of picking out gifts for each other.  This year instead of dollar store gifts, Marco took them to use $5 for one thoughtful gift.  Brayden got each of the girls a Ty animal from Cracker Barrel.  Both Ella and Maddi found great gifts but they were over their $5 spending limit.  Both girls said they would give their own money from their piggy banks to make up the difference.  What amazing girls!  Maddi got Brayden a superman shirt with a cape, Ella Hello Kitty slippers, and Paisley a little piano toy.  Ella got Paisley a ball toy, Brayden a superman cape, and Maddi some silly stompers slippers.  I really love that they enjoy buying and giving to each other.

We had an amazing Christmas and the only thing that would have made it better would have been getting more time with everyone.  I am glad that the kids and I went in early with out Marco, it meant I was able to spend time with my two best friends.  Even with all the stress, I am very happy we made the decision to go leave the house for Christmas.  The kids had a blast, and it was more than worth it!!

Thank you if you read it all :)  I didn't realize when I started writing about our Christmas that it would end up so long!

 

Our Christmas 2013 Part 2

Catch up on Part 1 HERE

When we left my brother's house Saturday night, we drove to my best friend, Roxy's house.  She had no clue we were in town, and I couldn't wait to surprise her.  I was talking to her earlier that day, and I almost gave myself away, but I had to make sure she would be home when I was going to head to her house.  I tried to record her reaction on my phone but some how stopped the video instead of recording, but it was priceless!!  I enjoyed an amazing night of catching up and only wish there had been more hours that night for us.  The kids and I spent the night, and Roxy and I stayed up way too late chatting and listening to our kids' laughter.

 

Sunday was her annual cookie party (a tradition we missed last year), and I was so excited to have made it this year.  The kids love rolling out their own cookies, making messes with flour and dough, and then decorating the cookies how ever they want.  These cookies are always used for Santa cookies, since they are overly sprinkled and frosted.

 

After the cookie party, the kids and I headed to my mom's for a big kid sleepover with Grani.  The big girls love spending the night with my mom and Brayden was going to try it out for the first time.  They had a blast!  Pepe, our elf, made an appearance, they made chocolate mice and cupcakes, and just overall enjoyed some Grani time.  Brayden did great staying with her, and I got a semi-kid free night.  Paisley and I went back to my dad's Sunday night.

Monday afternoon, Paisley and I headed to my mom's house.  I heard how Grani almost made Pepe lose his magic by accidently knocking him over.  Maddi and Ella freaked out for a few minutes, but Pepe let my mom know (when she was by herself of course), that he was ok because grandparents can touch the elves.  That was a close call though.

After the elf fiasco, mom and I loaded up the kids and went to see my grandpa.  It is a long story, but after a fall he had, he has been placed in a home where he is getting 24 hour nursing care.  But he seems to be slowly declining.  We took a few pictures and tried to talk to him, but he had no idea who we were.  The whole situation is very sad, and I don't like talking about it.

To end Monday on a happier note, the kids and I went to see my other best friend Marsha.  Her hubby, Cliff and I went to high school together, so I have known them forever.  Marsha has an older son, Blake, that Brayden just absolutely adores, and a daughter that is 1 month younger than Ella.  Cliff went to pick up Marco from the airport, which was perfect for me to get in some Marsha time.  I just love her!  Marco and I hung out way too late after he got there.  We let the girls spend the night with Persy, and the rest of us headed back to my dad's.

 
Christmas Eve we headed back to pick up the girls and do some final Christmas shopping.  Maddi started feeling bad, and ended up running fever all night.  She was puny most of the day, but had nothing more than fever.

 
We were getting together for Christmas at my dad's Tuesday, so both of my brother's came there.  The guys played pool, the kids ran around like crazy, Pepe left the kids some green milk (with magic dust to help them sleep), we ate, we opened presents, and we watched movies.  To end the night, my dad drove us around his neighborhood to look at Christmas lights.  When we got back, the kids put out their reindeer food and Santa cookies, and it was off to bed.

 

Part 3 Coming Tomorrow

Our Christmas 2013 Part 1

This post is a "better late than never" kinda post.  I am just now writing about our Christmas.  I am probably the world's worst blogger!  Most bloggers are already writing about Valentine's Day and I am still in 2013.  Oh well.

Our Christmas was amazing, to say the least.  We decided to go to Dallas, which is HUGE for me.  Since we have moved so much the past few years, I had decided for Christmas, we would always stay home.  If the family wanted to see us, they could come to us because:

• I didn't like the idea of the kids not being at home for Christmas Eve.
• I didn't like figuring out how to squeeze in Christmas around Marco's work schedule.
• I didn't like loading up the car with Santa goodies, the kids presents, and the family's presents, plus all the packing for all the kids.
• I didn't like trying to pack the car after Christmas for the drive home.

P.S. I made the rule when I only had the older girls.  Gah, I thought it was work then!  That would be a breeze now.

But my family always understood, and they came to us.  It was much easier when we lived closer, but last year was our first year being 6 hours away in Lubbock.  We had an amazing Christmas just our little family, but that was it.  It was just us.  No one visited Christmas Eve, no one was here Christmas day.

When Marco and I first talked about going to Dallas for Christmas, I was really stressed.  Actually I was really stressed till I was about 1/2 way home (home being Dallas), then I was just excited.  The stress was money, the baby's first long car ride, do I leave a few days before Marco and get more time with friends and family or do we drive in together for just a few days, and packing.  Packing for the big kids and I is easy at this point but I was very worried that I would forget something for the baby. 

But money worked out, I left Friday when the kids got out of school and Marco flew in on Monday night, the baby did amazing on the ride down there when it was just me and the kids, and I made a list for packing (a very long and detailed list).  I made sure I had everything of necessity for Paisley, but of course I could have packed more.  I missed her boppy and baby tub, but they weren't overly necessary.  I nursed with pillows and she bathed (unhappily) in the big tub.

 

I got the girls out of school early and drove in Friday to my dad's loaded down with all the kids, 3 small and 1 large suitcase, Santa's goodies in a very large bag, the presents for the family, the dogs and their kennel. 

I wonder how amazing it would be to be my husband and have ZERO responsibility for 2 1/2 days, no dogs, no kids, no wife.  I wonder if I will ever get that chance?

We made great time, only stopping in Abeline (1/2 way) to stretch our legs, eat, and get Paisley out of her carseat and feed her.  We drove straight to my mom's in Mesquite to drop off the dogs and chat for a few minutes and then we headed to my dad's house in Forney.

 

My dad has recently moved and his new house was perfect for the 3 big kids.  They had plenty of room to watch a movie and run and be wild upstairs and get their "we just sat in the car for 6+ hours" crazies out before bed.

 

The next morning I was supposed to meet a friend from Sherman for lunch and let the kids play while we caught up, but the weather was terrible.  She was having freezing rain and it was pouring at my dads.  We both agreed that it was just too much trouble.  I am still sad that we didn't get the chance to meet up and that she still hasn't met Paisley.  Better safe than sorry.  And hopefully she will be coming to Lubbock soon.

Not getting out Saturday morning, meant the kids and I were able to enjoy a rainy morning (which we don't get in Lubbock) and just watch cartoons and hang out with my step mom.  Once the rain cleared up, we repacked smaller bags, and the kids and I headed to my brother and sister in law's house.  We had an early dinner, watched movies, and the big kids wrestled with my brother while Melissa got in some Paisley snuggles.

Be back tomorrow with Part 2!

Gone are the baby blues

What a difference two weeks has made in my life!

I am feeling like my old self again.

I am feeling more energetic.

I am feeling calmer.

I am feeling more patient.

I am feeling so much happier.

I am loving on my children much more.

They are so much happier.

 

I know in the past few months, maybe more, my children have suffered from my feeling down.  They didn't get as many hugs or cuddles as they wanted.  I pushed them away, especially my older girls.  I was down and I didn't want them around.  I was sad Brayden wasn't going to be my baby anymore instead of being happy that I was going to have a new baby.  I was down on life, and my kids suffered.

 

I know that.

I am not proud of that.

 

Now is my time to change it, now is my time to love being a mom again.

 

We laugh more, we hug more, we cuddle more, we love more.

 

I am not saying pills will work for everyone or that taking something is the way to go for everyone, but taking an anti-depressant has changed my life.  It is helping me so much more than I ever thought I needed.  I can feel it and I know my kids can feel it.  Our house has changed for the better.

 

I only wish I would have spoken up sooner.  I tried not to talk about my feelings, and when I did, what I was feeling, I felt, got pushed aside.

 

For now though, I am happy.  Which feels amazing!

 

 

Baby Blues

Sorry I have been MIA from the blog the past few weeks, I haven't been in much of a writing mood.  I have been dealing with some personal things. 

I have been very down, blah, and just not feeling like myself since Paisley was born.  I have been constantly overwhelmed with all the kids by myself.  I yell way to much at the big girls and strain our relationship greatly most days, and I let Brayden wither away in front of the tv for hours a day, all while feeling stuck on the couch with no energy or enthusiasm to get up and live life.  A lot of days I feel lonely, I overeat, and I sleep horrible, I am just not myself.  I feel trapped in some one else's body.  My mood swings are out of control.  I can go from happy and content to crazy angry and yelling to feeling like crying my eyes out all within a matter of minutes.

I know "baby blues" are always possible after you give birth, but I never thought I would have it.  I am not sure if what I am experiencing is "baby blues" or just really bad hormonal changes due to getting my tubes tied.  I did not feel like this with my other babies, at least not to the extent that I do now.  Doctors are quick to tell you that there is no relation with getting your tubes tied and hormonal changes, but based on my mood, I feel otherwise.  This past week, I finally talked to my doctor about how I have been feeling, and hopefully will be feeling better in a few weeks (praying for sooner).  We agreed the best course of action, in my case, was to go on Lexapro.  I hope it starts to kick in over the next few weeks.  I never thought I would need to be put on something, however, if the medication helps me turn this all around, then so be it.
It has been very hard with 4, much harder than I ever thought it would be.  I never wanted to have 4 kids and I stressed and worried my entire pregnancy, but it was obviously in God's plan for our family and he is never wrong.  I love Paisley and wouldn't change having her for anything in the world.  She makes me smile and I know she will bring so much love and joy to our world that we would be greatly lacking with out her here. 

I was worried about how Brayden would be with her, but he has been amazing with her.  He always wants to hold her and give her kisses; I think he is very proud to be her big brother.  However, he has become increasingly insistent on getting my attention any way necessary, whether that is being overly sweet or throwing mega fits.  Maddi and Ella also love and adore her and constantly want to hold her, and they also try to keep her from crying as much as they can, they are awesome big sisters.

I hope that the medicine kicks in soon so I can get back to feeling like myself with my amazing family.  They deserve so much more than I give to them.

I am sure postpartum isn't overly talked about or that if what I am feeling could be from my tubal, but I wanted to put it out there.  If you are down, I don't think medication should be your first choice, but sometimes it may end up being the best choice.  The main thing is that you keep yourself healthy for your family and talk to your doctor about your feelings sooner rather than later.

Terrific Tuesday #1

After my super honest Debbie downer post yesterday, I have to do something different.

I have to make a change from within to make myself get out of this funk!

I have to remind myself what makes ME happy.

I am going to start a weekly post where I am going to find things from the past week that were terrific.  Little things and big things, and all the terrific things in between.  I need to start looking at my days with a positive attitude instead of letting all the negative take over.  I am going to start today.  Terrific Tuesday post number one!

• Saturday Maddi played an amazing soccer game!  She was playing defense, which is not her favorite position to play, but she rocked it!  She was stopping balls from going past her, dribbling the ball and passing up the field really well, throwing in the ball,  and winning the ball from the other team.  I was one proud momma and couldn't stop telling her great she was doing!!  Even better, the whole team played a great and won the game!
• Brayden cracks me up the way he says things.  He says Hollypop for lollypop, sprinkles for the wrinkles he gets in the bath, and he calls Maddi and Ella "the grales" instead of "the girls."  That is all I can think of right now, but I know there are more.
• Gabriella had a hard time on her spelling test the week before last turning letters around and made an 80 something.  This past week, she worked very hard on practicing her words and didn't miss any!  She didn't turn any letters around, and I could tell she worked very hard.
• Paisley is a great baby!  She sleeps really well, especially if we are out and about (the girl LOVES her carseat), and is an overall very happy baby.
• I went to a Moms Group meetup and meet some new ladies.  One had a baby 2 days before I had Paisley and her hubby is also a restaurant manager.  It is weird that I hope we form a great friendship?

I know there is more that made it a great week, but I will stop there for now.

Did you have anything that made it a great week for you?

Funk Funk Funk

I am in a funk!

I am in a stay at home, watch tv and cruise facebook all day kind of funk.

I am in a workout and eat right funk.

I am in a "I don't like my post baby body" funk.

I am in a mom funk.

I am in a wife funk.

I am in a find joy in the small things funk.

I am in a funk!

*The word funk is starting to look funky*

 

I have been in and out of this funk for about 10 months now, I guess it started around the time I found out I was pregnant with number 4.  I did not want a 4th baby, but there was nothing I could change at that point.  I never had a number in my mind of how many kids I wanted, but I felt overwhelmed and stressed the moment I heard I was going to have 4.  I thought I had it figured out with 3.  Two girls and one boy, that was perfect for me, that was my completed family, or so I thought.  God had other plans for me.  I couldn't (and still don't) understand why I am meant to have 4 kids.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids with every ounce of my being, but lately I am finding it hard to find the joy.

 

I don't laugh like I used to.

I don't love on my older girls like I used to.

I don't engage with Brayden like I should.

I send my kids off to play away from me.

I yell, I am easy aggravated, I roll my eyes,

I am an unhappy mom.

 

I feel like a terrible mom and I feel sorry for my kids.  I find myself thinking that I would not want to have me as a mom.

 

There are good days, where I feel amazing, where I love being a mom to 4, where I find joy in the small things that we do together.  Those moments I try to take a picture of, those moments I put on Instagram and post to facebook, those moments are just a small glimpse into my life.  The funk moments, those don't make the posting cut.

 

I feel terrible knowing that their are women who struggle to get pregnant and want kids with every fiber of their being, and I was so disappointed and unhappy with my situation.  I have to realize that this is my journey and that is just how I felt.

 

I have to find a way to snap out of my funk, to find my zest for life again, to find joy in my kids and my husband, to figure out my destiny in life.

 

*This is a honest post with my honest feelings, please no bashing or being rude!*

 

Halloween PJ Link Up

 

 

Maddison

 

Gabriella

 

My big girls!

Not sure what is going on with Ella's smile.

 

 Paisley is so not happy with out her paci.

 



Brayden being silly with his overly forced smile.

 

Brayden wanted a picture with his big sisters.

Seriously, what is going on with Ella's smile???

How did I get so lucky?

I am linking up with Darci from The Good Life and Meredith from The Tichenor Family!  Please join us in sharing your kiddos in their Halloween PJ's!  

Paisley's Birthday 9-12-13

With Paisley being 4 weeks old yesterday, and turning 1 month officially tomorrow, I thought I would finally upload photos from her birthday!

 

Paisley's due date wasn't till the 24th, but a sonogram on Sept 3rd showed that I had double the amniotic fluid that I was supposed to have.  Normal levels are up to 12 and I was at 24.5!  She was also measuring close to 9 pounds, so my dr. wanted to get her out as soon as we could.  We had the induction scheduled for Sept 12th.

 

My very last pregnant photo!!  I was huge since I had so much extra fluid.

I went in at 7 am to get my induction started.  We got back to my room around 8, and I had my water broken around 9:30. 

  

Waiting to get things going.

Paisley was so ready to meet us, because she was born 4 hours later at 1:36 pm.

 



8 lbs 14 oz and 22 in long



 

 

Chubby Cheeks

 

Proud Papa!

 



Big Bro!

 

 

Grani with the big sisters and brother!

*I will add photos of the girls holding Paisley, but first I need to get them from my hubby!

 

Paisley's Newborn Photos

 

This month has flown by and brought on lots of changes, but they have been worth it!

Happy 1 month sweet girl!