Baby Blues

Sorry I have been MIA from the blog the past few weeks, I haven't been in much of a writing mood.  I have been dealing with some personal things. 

I have been very down, blah, and just not feeling like myself since Paisley was born.  I have been constantly overwhelmed with all the kids by myself.  I yell way to much at the big girls and strain our relationship greatly most days, and I let Brayden wither away in front of the tv for hours a day, all while feeling stuck on the couch with no energy or enthusiasm to get up and live life.  A lot of days I feel lonely, I overeat, and I sleep horrible, I am just not myself.  I feel trapped in some one else's body.  My mood swings are out of control.  I can go from happy and content to crazy angry and yelling to feeling like crying my eyes out all within a matter of minutes.

I know "baby blues" are always possible after you give birth, but I never thought I would have it.  I am not sure if what I am experiencing is "baby blues" or just really bad hormonal changes due to getting my tubes tied.  I did not feel like this with my other babies, at least not to the extent that I do now.  Doctors are quick to tell you that there is no relation with getting your tubes tied and hormonal changes, but based on my mood, I feel otherwise.  This past week, I finally talked to my doctor about how I have been feeling, and hopefully will be feeling better in a few weeks (praying for sooner).  We agreed the best course of action, in my case, was to go on Lexapro.  I hope it starts to kick in over the next few weeks.  I never thought I would need to be put on something, however, if the medication helps me turn this all around, then so be it.
It has been very hard with 4, much harder than I ever thought it would be.  I never wanted to have 4 kids and I stressed and worried my entire pregnancy, but it was obviously in God's plan for our family and he is never wrong.  I love Paisley and wouldn't change having her for anything in the world.  She makes me smile and I know she will bring so much love and joy to our world that we would be greatly lacking with out her here. 

I was worried about how Brayden would be with her, but he has been amazing with her.  He always wants to hold her and give her kisses; I think he is very proud to be her big brother.  However, he has become increasingly insistent on getting my attention any way necessary, whether that is being overly sweet or throwing mega fits.  Maddi and Ella also love and adore her and constantly want to hold her, and they also try to keep her from crying as much as they can, they are awesome big sisters.

I hope that the medicine kicks in soon so I can get back to feeling like myself with my amazing family.  They deserve so much more than I give to them.

I am sure postpartum isn't overly talked about or that if what I am feeling could be from my tubal, but I wanted to put it out there.  If you are down, I don't think medication should be your first choice, but sometimes it may end up being the best choice.  The main thing is that you keep yourself healthy for your family and talk to your doctor about your feelings sooner rather than later.

Oh How Pinteresting

I am linking up with the Vintage Apple for this week's Oh How Pinteresting.

Feel free to link up with her as well.

 

Funny Pin:

 I laughed so hard!

Yummy Pin:

Helpful Pin:

I have been doing these stretches the past few nights, and they truly help!! 
It's a MUST read!

Crafty pin:

I hope you like my pins, and check out my pinterest page!

My Health and Weight Loss Progress

I have slowed down on working out a lot since I have been working, but I am still slowly losing weight (thanks to all the walking at work)!  I can't wait till I can get back in the gym though, I really miss it! 

I am not counting calories or being super strict on everything that I am eating, but I am very aware of what I am putting in my body.  I am trying to make sure that it is lots of fruits and veggies and less crap than I was eating.  I am cutting out calories and fat by supplementing fat free or low fat versions of things like cheeses, soups, and creams in my cooking, I have cut out sodas and I am drinking diet green tea instead, and I have cut out fast food almost completely.  If I am really hungry before dinner, I eat a big salad with fat free dressing so that I don't over indulge on dinner.

My new favorite adult beverage is Voli vodka and lemonade.  Voli vodka is a low cal vodka and I found 15 calorie per serving lemonade.  It is a super yummy drink and very refreshing, especially on a hot day out by the pool :)

I know that there will be cheat days/weekends, and I am ok with that.  I am learning to not be so hard on myself if I do fall off the wagon, but to just get right back on track.  

Having a support system is really important, and I highly encourage anyone trying to lose weight and be healthier, to partner with someone.  They can keep you on track, be a motivation when you are down, or scold you when you do fall off the wagon and have a hard time getting back on.  I have several people in my support system, and they have been a huge help for me.

So far I am down 5 or 6 pounds, which is not a lot, but I don't plan on putting it back on.  I am ok with it coming off slowly, as long as I keep the weight off.  I have finally moved back into the 160s, and I am looking forward to the 150s!!  I will keep you updated!!

What keeps you on track and motivated??

My New Job!!

I am proud to announce that I have a new job!!

I am going to be a part time (for now) sales consultant at CarMax!

I could not be happier!

This job is going to be challenging, exciting, and faced paced!

Just what I need to get me out of my rut!

Wahoo!!

So ready for a change!

I am feeling kinda blah this week, and I know it is because my butt has not been in the gym!

I haven't been since last Wednesday, and I am feeling it!!

I have BodyRocked a few days, but I am in need of a good run!!

*I honestly never thought those words would come out of my mouth!*

How do you guys stay motivated to work out?

I have started using MyFitnessPal again, to keep myself on track with my eating (please feel free to follow me so we can keep each other accountable)!

How do you stay in control of your eating?  Do you allow cheat days or splurge when ever you want?



What Have You Been Up To?

Here's what I have been up to:

• Working out is on my mind every single day, it consumes my thoughts!  It is crazy how much my attitude has changed, and I actually want to work out, no I crave working out.  I am slowly falling in love with running, and I absolutely love to Body Rock (a 12 minute workout that has me sweating more than I ever thought I could)!  I love the saying, "Sweat is fat crying."  I want my fat to cry every day!! 
• When I am not working out, I sit on the computer and "pin" workouts and healthy meals and snacks from pinterest (feel free to follow me).
• With that being said, I have changed my eating about 80%.  That is a huge step for me.  I know that I want to do better, eat more cleanly, so to speak, but I also know it will take some time.  My hubby is not there yet, and since I still have to feed him, I still have to make foods he likes.  I have started swapping salads and veggies for chips and tots, and that is a HUGE start.  I have also swapped ice cream for Skinny Cow products and Oreos for Oreo flavored pudding.  I am in the process of giving up cokes, and have started replacing those with diet green teas from Lipton.  It is a long road, but I know the little changes will start making a big difference!
• I haven't seen any movement on the scale, which is very frustrating.  I figured that I would be down 10+ pounds by now.  I normally would just give up and binge and not look back, but I am changing.  I tend to binge on the weekends, then I spend the week trying to make up for what I did.  I have realized that, and I am going to be more honest with myself.

• I just got a job!!  It is parttime working 2 nights a week and 10 hours on Saturday!  I am going to be a sales consultant with CarMax!  I am so excited to start, and ready for a challenging job!
• I am so very ready for summer to start!  I have an overnight trip planned with the hubby, a soccer swim party, and a beach vacation planned already, and that is just in the first few weeks of June.

What have you been up to?

Any fun summer plans yet?

Unfinished

Yes, I realize that today is the last day of the challenge, and that I am way behind!  I didn't think that I would be a whole week off!  I will try to do as much as I can today so that I don't end the challenge unfinished.

Some other things in my life that are unfinished:

• Every adult book I start
• My whole house being clean (at the same time)
• My 30 while I am 30 list!  I don't think I have done 1 of them yet, I am a slacker
• Having all 3 kids up to date on shots
• My healthy lifestyle, I am getting better at working out, but the food and sweets is a harder habit to break
• Weekly menu planning, my healthy eating would be a lot more on track if I did a menu every week, once again: slacker
• Figuring out what career I want to have, I just need someone to tell me what I want to do

What are some things you feel are unfinished in your life?

This is my U post for the A to Z challenge!  If you are visiting from the challenge, please stop and say hello!

Thoughts

Tiffani's Thoughts

Here are my random thoughts for the day in no particular order:

• My house really needs to be cleaned
• The dishes need to be done
• The clean clothes need to be hung up
• I need to go to the grocery store
• I really wish people would link their email to their blogger account so I could reply when they leave me a comment!
• I need to eat lunch
• I wish I could get a full night's sleep
• I wish I could be friends with Caroline Manzo in real life
• I need to get on the ball with my life changing activities (working out more and eating better, so far I am off to a slow start)
• Why is changing bad habits so dang hard!!
• Can garage sells start at noon??  I need to have one but we have soccer at 10.
• The Rangers have been kicking some major butt!!
• I need friends to hang out with during the day, I get VERY lonely
• I need to watch last week's Grey's Anatomy so I can watch this week's episode tonight
• We need to catch up on The Voice!
• Adam Levine is so cute to me and I love his new song, Pay phone!
• I really should be working out instead of on the computer
• I need to wash my truck badly!
• We need family photos badly!!!
• I thoroughly enjoy being a soccer mom and I love being team mom!
• I am addicted to the Real Housewives! 

Ok, I could keep going, but I think I will stop for today!

This is my T post for the A to Z challenge!  Please stop in and say hello!!

Exercise and Easter

Today embarks my journey back to a healthy lifestyle.  It seems like I stay on a major roller coaster with my choices that I make.  One day I am doing great by working out, eating right and setting a good example for my kids, and then I take a tumble downward.  It is not a straight drop, like the initial start to a roller coaster, it is more like a slow twisty and turny road back down.  It starts with the craving for something sweet and giving in.  Then life gets busy and it is easier to order pizza than to cook.  Then you find yourself sitting on the couch fast food in hand night after night, with the cookie dough ice cream already in the freezer.  Once you start the downward spiral, it is so hard to climb back to the top.

I did so good last year, getting on track and cutting my weight down and feeling so great about myself.  All that weight has slowly crept back on.  My husband has been feeling it too, so he went and signed us up for a gym membership.  The way to start feeling better for me, is to start with exercise.  When I exercise, I tend to fend off the cravings a lot easier.  I don't want to bust my butt working out and then ruin it by eating like crap.  I am excited about getting back in the gym, and a plus to this gym is they have a tanning bed!!  Wahoo!  I will be getting my GTL on :)  (That is Jersey Shore lingo for gym, tan, laundry)

I started working out today.  I was ready to get in the gym, but so sad to find out that there was no kids club today.  Did I let it stop me?  Heck no!  I went to a park and pushed my 2 kids in the stroller for 2 miles and then let them play at the park.  It felt great to get out of the house and be active!  I am so ready for the change that is coming, starting with exercise!

Easter is right around the corner.  We don't do anything special, except try to get together with family and the kids Easter baskets.  I think I want to try to make some cookies that have some correlation to what Jesus went through when he died on the cross and the reasoning behind it.  I had a friend post the recipe to Facebook, so we will see if I can find time.  Maddi is off for Good Friday tomorrow, so that might be the best day to do it :)

Thank you all for continuing to read my thoughts!!

This is day 5 and letter E for the A to Z challenge.

If you are here from the challenge, please take a second to say hello!

A-HA Moments from My Week

I have had some A-HA moments in the past few days that I would like to share with you!

1. I have been trying to conform my blog into something it is not.  I follow some blogs that are big into product review, giveaways, and such and I have been trying to mimic Thoughts from Tiffani into one of those blogs.  Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the blogs I follow, I just don't feel Thoughts from Tiffani fits into that kind of category.  I think I have been trying to force something that is not there.  I will still host a giveaway or do a product review if something pops up, but for now I think that Thoughts from Tiffani is going to go back to just being a lifestyle blog about my actual thoughts on life.
2. I have been a very bad mom.  I have been checked out and uninvolved with my kids lately.  I realized how bad it had gotten when I reread my I Must Confess.... post.  I really need to get them out from in front of the tv, being more active, and having more fun.  They deserve so much more than I have been giving them lately. 
3. I watched Joel Osteen this morning, and his message was simple.  Keep the faith in God, don't give up on your dreams and goals when things get tough, and God will reward you.  When the going gets tough we tend to lose our faith in God, but that is when we should be relying on God the most.  I needed to hear that message this morning.  I have gone through a lot lately, and I know that if I keep the faith, keep my eyes and heart close to God, that he will get me through.  God has a plan for me, and I need to look to him for guidance!
4. If you eat like crap, you will feel like crap.  I was involved with my group of friends in a Biggest Loser contest, and I was eating great, working out, and feeling better.  I have gotten way off track and gone back to my old eating habits {fast food, quick fix meals at home, unhealthy snacks}, and while I have not put on any extra weight {surprisingly}, I feel the effects that it has put on my body.  I am moody and sluggish, my tummy has been upset for days, and I am not sleeping well.  The "food" that I am putting in my body is not fueling it at all, and I have to put a stop to it!  It is so darn easy to go back to bad habits, but I am bound and determined to change.  I have to for my total health and the health of my family.  I need suggestions, meal ideas, recipes, tips on healthy cooking, anything you are willing to offer, I need it!!

These are my A-HA moments from the week!  Did you have any??  

Beauty Routine

I was watching Kimora:Life in the Fab Lane, which is super fabulous by the way, and one episode was about her new skin care line.  She wanted new "fresh" faces to model for Shinto Clinical, and casted a model search to find the perfect girls of all different ethnicities, ages, and body types.  I thought this was an outstanding idea!  Way to go Kimora!

So this episode got me thinking about my own personal skin care routine.  I normally only wash my face when I shower, and I occasionally use moisturizer.  I loved seeing that there are other girls that do the same, which is basically nothing.  However Kimora couldn't believe that the girls didn't have an abundance of products (cleanser, moisturizer, toner, etc.) like she did.  I don't feel I have perfect skin; my face breaks out randomly, and it seems to range from dry to oily depending on the day.  But I never really thought it was necessary to have all the products.

Since watching the show, I have been washing my face day and night, and applying moisturizer afterwards.  I am using Equate brands, because I am a cheapy like that.  I use Equate W/Gentle Microbeads Daily Renewal Cleanser  and Equate: Absolutely Beaming Daily SPF 15 Moisturizer.  I love them, and I would compare them to any of the name brands.  I have noticed that when I wash and moisturize at night, I don't have to moisturize during the day.  My skin looks and feels better.  I have learned that having a beauty routine everyday is a good thing.

 

  I want to know what your skin care regimen is.

What do you use and why??

Is there anything you would recommend??